Rumors have no place in civil student conduct. Make gossip end with you!

• Math senior Walter Gilman died last May of alcohol poisoning; he drank a whole bottle of whiskey after being told he was flunking out.
• Math senior Walter Gilman died last May of rabies from a rat bite.
• Old Squinty, the mummy in the Museum? He was a high priest who was executed for drunkenness. They say on the night of the Winter Solstice, Squinty roams the Museum, thirsty for beer. Be sure to have one more for “Squinty’s revenge” at your next party!
• A girl fainted a few years back during a tour of the Exhibit Museum. They say she was looking at those queer bits of gold baubles from Innsmouth.
• If a professor is more than 15 minutes late to class, you can leave.
• If your roommate commits suicide, you get all A’s for the semester.
• The old Abandoned House on Church Street is haunted.

The following “slang” words will not be tolerated in term papers or classroom discussion:

All Wet – describes an erroneous idea or individual, as in, “he’s all wet.”
And How – I strongly agree!
Applesauce – an expletive. As in “Ah applesauce!”
Balled Up – confused, messed up.
Beat his/her gums – idle chatter.
Bee’s Knees – an extraordinary person, thing, idea; the ultimate.
Butt me – I’ll take a cigarette.
Cat’s Meow/Cat’s Pajamas – something splendid or stylish.
Cheaters – eyeglasses.
Clam – a dollar.
The Darb – a person with money who can be relied on to pay the check.
Don’t take any wooden nickels. – Don’t do anything stupid.
Ducky – very good.
Edge – drunk, a buzz. “I’ve got an edge.”
Egg – a person who lives the big life.
Fish – a college freshman.
Flat Tire – a dull-witted person.
Get a wiggle on – get a move on.
Heebie-Jeebies – the jitters.
Horsefeathers! – an expletive.
High-Hat – to snub.
Juice Joint – a speakeasy.
Keen – attractive or appealing.
Live wire – a lively person.
Mrs. Grundy – an uptight or tight-laced person.
Nifty – great, excellent.
Now you’re on the trolley! – “Now you’ve got it!”
Palooka – a social outsider, from the comic strip character Joe Palooka.
Pill – a teacher.
Says you! – a reaction of disbelief.
Sheba – a woman with sex appeal (from the movie Queen of Sheba starring Clara Bow).
Sheik – a man with sex appeal (from the Valentino movies).
Wet Blanket – a killjoy.
What’s eating you? – what’s wrong?
Whoopee – to have a good time.
You slay me – that’s funny.

More prohibited words can be found at the Internet Guide to Jazz Age Slang.

An informal study of this year’s incoming roster revealed the most common boys’ and girls’ names this year; see if you can spot yours!

BOYS

John
James
William
Robert
George
Joseph
Charles
Frank
Edward
Henry
Willie
Thomas
Walter
Albert
Paul
Harry
Arthur
Harold
Raymond
Clarence
Richard
Fred
Jack
Louis
Joe
Carl
Howard
Ralph
Roy
David
Ernest
Samuel
Earl
Charlie
Lawrence
Francis
Anthony
Alfred
Herbert
Sam
Andrew
Eugene
Kenneth
Donald
Michael
Leonard
Elmer
Stanley
Lee
Leroy

GIRLS

Mary
Helen
Margaret
Dorothy
Ruth
Anna
Elizabeth
Mildred
Marie
Alice
Frances
Florence
Ethel
Lillian
Gladys
Rose
Evelyn
Edna
Annie
Louise
Irene
Catherine
Grace
Hazel
Thelma
Gertrude
Ruby
Martha
Virginia
Josephine
Lucille
Clara
Bertha
Emma
Edith
Beatrice
Bessie
Esther
Pearl
Sarah
Agnes
Pauline
Myrtle
Elsie
Eva
Mabel
Ida
Viola
Julia
Minnie